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| Alarmingly Strange Stories |
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The Frogman |
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| Which is what happened at the Frogman's apartment. Face down, in the Frogman's apartment, Billy unwrapped the cord from his feet and looked up to see the Frogman and his mother. "Look mother, it's a feeding frenzy!" he giggled. His mother wasn't in the room yet. A few moments later she came running into the room. Hitting a pool of blood on the kitchen floor, she slid out of control and fell face down into a lake of blood, which came dripping from the Frogman's hand. Billy's mother skidded headfirst right into the wall. When her head hit, her leg jerked. When the leg jerked, it hit the kitchen table. When the kitchen table shook, a glass pitcher fell off the table and fell on the Frogman's foot, which made the Frogman's foot hurt. Which was too bad. The Frogman sat on the kitchen floor and leaned against the refrigerator and started to cry. "All I wanted was a little snack," he cried. "Stop your belly-achin'," his mother replied. "You've been nothing but trouble since the day you were born," she screamed while reaching for one of the dismembered 'frog-fingers,' that dropped to the floor. "For once I'd like to see you take it like a man." She stopped talking to chew on the finger. "I take nothing like a man, for I am not a man...I am the Frogman," he whimpered. "Yeah, well you could have been a ballerina!" "Fuck you! I AM THE FROGMAN!" he screamed hysterically. "And don't you forget it," he moaned, to himself, "I am the Frogman, I AM the Frogman." Slowly he raised himself up and went to the dining room and picked up a crusty used tampon from the floor and started to suck on it like a Popsicle. The eating habits of these people may seem a little unusual; however, this is the result of a world gone mad. "How did it get this way?" You may ask. "Well, it really doesn't matter," I may reply. But I'll tell you anyway: It all started with an invention, which is now called "Time Expansion Technology." It was found that subatomic particles phase in and out of existence. Well they really don't stop existing they actually phase into another universe or another dimension, no one knows for sure. We just know they stop existing here and start existing somewhere else. And of course, all matter is made of these particles. Which means minute parts of everything stops to exist here and pops up somewhere else. This occurs very quickly, two point five, times ten to the negative seventeenth power of a second, to be more precise. In other words, it happens so fast no one can really notice. And it happens to different atoms at different times. A scientist made a device that allowed all the subatomic particles of a person who has been properly prepared, to phase into the other dimensions in unison, for that small fraction of a second, which made the whole person not exist for a really small amount of time. In summary, he fixed it so that the person would actually phase into the unknown dimension one hundred times as often as usual…and the whole person would phase out, instead of just one sub-atomic particle at a time. The end result is, as person who undergoes this treatment exists in our dimension one hundred times less than normal people. Since time is a function of our dimension, aging as we know it, occurs a hundred times slower than normal. In one hundred minutes they would only age one minute. In one hundred years, a person, properly prepared, would only age one year. And there you have it, the source of all troubles to come. |
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