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Chapter 52
They left at exactly noon as the remaining villagers stood on
the shoreline waving and crying. Gringrath and the thers waved back until the raft reached a bend of the river
and the village could no longer be seen.
Doodlynug guided the boat as Klempetersterrer goose-stepped from the front of the raft to the back. Gringrath and
Mootysnoot sat at the table and plotted their course on the map given to them by the village elder.
"I'm thinking we should get to our destination in about an hour," said Gringrath.
"Maybe a bit sooner," said Mootysnoot.
"Maybe," said Gringrath.
"A good possibility," said Mootysnoot.
"I'm thinking so," said Gringrath.
"Hey, you wanna know something?" asked Gringrath.
"What's that?"
"Why are we in this story? I mean, what is the point?"
"I don't know. Maybe the author had no good ideas and just decided to throw some shit in there to fill up
space."
Mootysnoot nodded. "I say we say the hell with this and go have sex with Sloppuss."
"Let's do it!! Fuck Jon and his stupid ideas."
Chapter 53
"Why do we have to do this Sh'tstane? Why do we have to kill
the albino?"
Sh'tstane finished loading his rifle and set it aside. "Well, Joe it isn't just an albino. It's a drunken
albino."
"So what? What difference does that make?"
Sh'tstane took a sip from a bottle of beer. "It's Jay, the drunken albino."
Joe gasped. "No shit? Jay the drunken albino? I have only heard stories about him! You mean we're going to
kill him?"
"That's the plan. Hold on, I here something."
Sh'stane looked around the corner of the building and saw a man walking down the road towards them. Sh'tstane reached
down and picked up his rifle.
"It's him, Joe," he said as he looked down the scope. As he was getting ready to squeeze the trigger
he noticed a small boy run towards Jay the drunken albino and leap on his back.
"Holy shit!" said Sh'tstane. "That's Perkchip!"
Chapter 54
Perkchip grabbed ahold of Jay's ears and pulled as hard as he
could. The ears popped free of Jay's head and Perkchip fell to the ground. Jay stopped and put his hands to the
side of his head.
"Ow," he said.
Perkchip quickly ate one of the ears, then he grabbed Jay's left foot. With a quick twist, he ripped the foot off.
Jay fell to the ground, almost feeling the pain, yet not quite due to his severe drunkeness.
Perkchip giggled and ran away.
Chapter 55
"Wake up Sh'tstane! Quick, it's an emergency!"
Sh'stane slowly opened his eyes. "What's wrong?" he muttered.
"Something's wrong with Darva," said Joe.
"So? You woke me up from a great dream for that? Big deal."
"I think she's dead. I really, truly think she's dead."
Sh'stane stood and slowly stretched. "No great loss if she is."
"Yeah? Well, it might be a bit worse than that. Come on, you have got to see this."
Sh'tstane followed Joe into the woods. Joe stopped when they came to a small clearing. Sh'tstane noticed that Terry
was sitting on a stump with his legs spread, and Darva was lying face up on the ground.
Sh'tstane walked over to Darva and knelt down next to her. Her mouth was wide open and he could see a large black
lump that seemed to be lodged in her throat.
"What in the hell is this?" he asked as he leaned down for a closer look.
"Holy shit! I don't believe this!" he said and quickly got to his feet.
"What is it?" asked Joe.
"She choked to death! She choked to death on ants!"
"Ants?" asked Joe. "How could she choke to death on ants? And why isn't Terry wearing pants?"
"Think about it for a second Joe."
Joe stood and looked from Terry to Darva. "Oh, shit. I should have use some glue down there."
"Don't worry about it. Darva was a slut. Put some pants on Terry and let's bring him home."
"I wonder if she died happy?" asked Joe as he picked up Terry's pants.
Page 15
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