Gringrath stretched as he lay in his bed. He gazed at the lush
foliage above him and grinned. After scratching his pointy ears, he grinned and hopped out of bed.
He walked slowly to the nearby stream and bathed with the other
elfs. As they washed themselves, the Elder sang a song which Gringrath had heard every day since birth. He joined
in singing with the Elder and soon the forest was filled with the merriment of the elven voices.
Gringrath finished bathing and dried himself on the shore. He
walked back to the village with Mootysnoot, his best friend.
Mootysnoot liked to whack the other elves on the back of the head
with his closed fist. One day, he whacked an elf too hard on the back of the head, causing the poor elf's eyes
to pop out. This caused great consternation among the village Tribunal and Mootysnoot was ordered to stop.
When they reached the village, Sloppuss ran over to them. She
was the most beautiful elf in the village, and she was the village slut.
"Hey, guys," she said, "What are you up to?"
"We have a meeting with the Tribunal," said Gringrath.
"Oh. What is the meeting about?" she asked.
"I think they are going to send us on a journey of peace.
At least, that is the rumor I have heard," said Gringrath.
"Can I come along?" she asked. "I mean, if they
do send you on a journey?"
Gringrath thought for a moment. "I don't know," he finally
said. "What kind of talents do you have? I am a master in magic and Mootysnoot is a master at auto repair.
What are you a master at?"
Sloppuss smiled and whispered something in Mootysnoot's ear.
"She definitely has to come with us, Gringrath," said
Mootysnoot.
..
Gringrath and Mootysnoot entered the cabin of the Tribunal. All
of the members were present, most smoking cigarettes.
The Elder rose when everyone was seated. A hush fell across the
audience.
"As you might of heard," began the Elder, "A vote
was taken and we have decided to send some of our brave elfin folk out of these woods in order to try to assimilate
our culture into others. We have picked five of our bravest wee folk to take this journey. Those five are Doodlynug,
Klempetersterrer, Mootysnoot, Blankstare and Gringrath. Can those five please stand?"
All five elves stood as the tribunal applauded. When the applause
died down, Mootysnoot raised his hand.
"Yes, Mootysnoot," said the Elder. "Do you have
a question for the Tribunal?"
"Yes, Elder and distinguished members of the Tribunal. Is
it possible that we take Sloppuss with us?"
"You mean the fucking slut?" asked the Elder.
Mootysnoot nodded.
"What is she a master at?" asked the Elder.
Mootysnoots faced turned red.
A member of the Tribunal rose and whispered something in the Elder's
ear.
"You gotta be kidding," said the Elder. "How come
I didn't know about this?"
As one, all the members of the Tribunal shrugged their shoulders.
"Very well then," said the Elder. "Sloppuss will
go along with you. Now, there is a raft waiting for you in the stream. You must head north until you exit the woods
and then you must find a local leader. There, Gringrath will give him a gift and arrange a meeting between the
Tribunal and whatever form of government they might have. It should be a simple mission. Does anyone have any questions?"
The five men shook their heads.
"Fine," said the Elder. "You may all leave and
prepare for your journey. You will leave at noon today."
The Tribunal rose again and applauded as the five men left the
cabin.
"I can't believe they're taking the village slut," said
on Tribunal member to another.
