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Chapter 43
Sh'tstane parked the jeep in a clump of trees. Joe had built a fire and was broiling some lobster with grits. "Well,
Sh'tstane," said Joe, "we kinda lost Terry.What are we gonna do now?"
Sh'stane sat on a rock."Well," he said, "we can go back and find the body and the head and sew the
head back on. Then, we can buy some Lego's and some Lincoln Logs. We can fill the body with the Lego's and the
Lincoln Logs and add a battery pack. That might fool the parents for a while. They are from Iowa, you know."
"True," said Joe. "But, Lincoln Logs do not use battery packs. They just kind of sit there."
"Yeah, you're right. How about we find someone who kind of looks like him and force him into being Terry?"
"That might work," said Joe. "But, I might have a better idea."
Chapter 44
When Sh'tstane woke up the next morning, he noticed that Joe was busy around the campfire. He stretched and rolled
out of bed and walked to the refrigerator. After drinking a box of orange juice, he decided to see what Joe was
doing. When he reached Joe, he noticed that someone was sitting in front of him. The top othis person's head was
open and Sh'tstane noticed that it was filled with ants. "Uh, Joe," he said. "What are you doing?"
Joe stopped shoving ants into the head and wiped his hands on his pajamas. "Well," Joe said, "while
you were sleeping I decided to get the body and the head. I put ants in the head and they should be able to take
over the body and make it come back to life! Besides, who will know the
difference?"
"I guess. But is it scientifically possible?"
"Sure! It seems to be working!" exclaimed Joe.
"Oh, this is fantastic! Now we can return Terry home! Our mission will be accomplished!"
Terry looked up at Sh'tstane and a few ants tumbled out of his head. "You better sew that up," said Sh'tstane.
"Oh, yeah," said Joe and he picked up the needle.
Chapter 45
Sh'tstae and Joe stared at Terry. Joe had just finished sewing the top of the scalp on, trapping a few of the ants
in the sutures. Every so often, a few ants would fall out of Terry's nose. "We need to figure out a way to
stop the ants from falling out." said Sh'tstane.
"I know," said Joe."How about some glue?"
"Excellent idea! We can get some glue and plug up his nose and ears! That should do the trick."
But, what about his mouth?"
Sh'tstane thought for a moment. "Okay," he said. "We can glue his mouth shut too. We'll just tell
his parents that he has lockjaw due to combat stress. Remember, they are from Iowa."
"Great!" said Joe. "First though, we need to get some makeup or something to hide the stitches."
As Joe cleaned up the camp, Sh'tstane helped Terry up and led him to the jeep.
Chapter 46
"For fucks sake," said Joe,"Can't this line move
any quicker?"
"Calm done, Joe," said Sh'tstane. "Terry is safe and there is only one person ahead of us."
The old man leaned over his walker and placed the hemorrhoid ointment in front of the checkout girl. She tried
scanning the item, but it would not work. Finally she asked the bagger, a wide eyed mongloid, to get her the price.
The mongloid walked slowly away with the ointment clutched in his white paw.
"You gotta be kidding," said Joe.
"Patience," said Sh'tstane.
The old man farted.
After 10 minutes, the mongloid had not come back. The cashier called over the manager and told him what happened.
The manager scurried away. After another 10 minutes, the mongloid finally came back. He handed the crushed box
to the cashier, and stared at her.
"What's the price?" she asked.
"A dowa uduh dofwe," he replied.
"What's that again?" she asked.
The mongloid jumped up and down. "A dowa uduh dofwe!" he screamed. "A dowa uduh dofwe!"
"I'm sorry," she said. "But I can't........."
"A dollar three!" screamed Joe."A dollar fucking three!"
"How did you know that?" asked Sh'tstane as the cashier rang the purchase up.
"Oh, my little brother got whacked in the head with a corned beef brisquet when he was 5 years old. He turned
into a mongloid, so I learned how to speak the language."
"That'll be one dollar and nine cents," said the cashier.
The old man pulled a checkbook out of his back pocket.
"Well, fuck me," said Joe.
Page 12
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