Alarmingly Strange Stories
 

The Adventure of Cascadilla and Perkchip

by

Jon Stephenson


Chapter 33

"So, what's this mission?" asked Joe as they walked cautiously down the road.

"Well," answered Sh'stane, "there's this family in Iowa that have sent all 18 of their children here. 17 of them have died and it is our mission to rescue the last one. I think they said his name is Terry.

"Sounds like a bullshit mission to me," said Joe.

"That it does," said Sh'tstane. "That it does."

Chapter 34

Joe and Sh'tstane ducked behind the brick wall as gunfire erupted around them.

Chapter 35

Sh'tstane looked over the wall at the figure in the trench about 100 yard away. The figure seemed to be wearing a pair of headphones, oblivious to the enemy slowly creeping towards the trench.
"I think we have found this Terry person," Sh'tstane said to Joe. "But, we might have a problem getting him out."

Joe looked over the wall. "Great," he said. "What do you want to do?"

Sh'tstane thought for a moment."Wait, I got it! Strip naked and run around back here! Do some jumping jacks, too! That should divert their attention."

"You sure?" asked Joe.

"Not really," said Sh'tstane. "Do you have a better idea?"

"Well, yes," said Joe.

"Shut up and strip, Joe," said Sh'tstane.

Chapter 36

Sh'tstane stopped crawling towards Terry and looked back at Joe doing naked jumping jacks Sure enough, the enemy had stopped advancing and were transfixed by the spectacle of Joe. Sh'tstane crawled to the trench and fell into it. He got to his knees and tapped the soldier on the shoulder.
The soldier turned and looked blankly at Sh'tstane. "You Terry?" asked Sh'tstane.

The soldier took the headphones off. "Huh?" the soldier asked.

"Are you Terry?" Sh'tstane asked again. The soldier nodded. "C'mon", said Sh'tstane. "We're taking you home."

"But I'm listening to my soap opera!" said Terry in a high pitched,whiny voice.

"We have been ordered to take you home. Now, pack up your stuff and let's go!" As Terry grumbled and started picking up his few meager possessions, Sh'tstane couldn't help but notice how obscenely short Terry was, almost a midget.

Chapter 37

Sh'tstane and Terry ran back to where Joe was doing squat thrusts. "Get you clothes on Joe!" yelled Sh'tstane when they were safely behind the wall.

"But this is a lot of fun!" said Joe.

"Time for it later, Joe. We hafta get moving now!"

"Oh, this is great," said Terry."I'm missing my soap opera for this?"

Page 9

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