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Chapter 27
The Sheikh arranged a meeting with the Neb-raskans to take place
in an auditorium later in the evening. He wanted to see if a truce could somehow be worked out.
As Cascadilla slept, he pounded a spike through Perkchip's head, per her instructions.
Chapter 28
Cascadilla looked out at the packed auditorium. There were no
empty
seats.
The Sheikh stood and began speaking to the crowd. He told them
his plans
for a truce that would be beneficial to both parties.
Cascadilla noticed that no one was listening.
When the Sheikh was finished, he sat down with a frown on his
face. "I
do not think I got through," he said to Cascadilla.
"Well, what did you expect?" she asked.
He could only nod.
The leader of the Neb-raskans stood and hiked up his overalls.
He walked
to the podium and started to speak. For 4 hours he rambled on about how great it was to be a Neb-raskan and how
they were the world leaders in sheep pregnancies and sales of bib overalls and chewing tobacco.
After the fifth hour of his rambling, Cascadilla could take no
more. She stood up and all eyes turned towards her. "All you hucker lovers suck!" she screamed.
The Sheikh and Cascadilla watched in amazement and amusement as
every
Neb-raskans head exploded.
"My goodness," said the Sheikh, "I think you found
the secret."
Chapter 29
The Sheikh watched as Cascadilla clipped her toenails. "Will
you marry me?" he asked.
Cascadilla screamed and threw the toenail clippers at Rawley.
"No", she said, "I must find my husband."
The Sheikh sighed. "Thank god," he said, "I am
gay, you know."
Rawley smiled at the Sheikh.
Chapter 30
Sh'tstane walked through the debris of the destroyed building.
He noticed a hand lying in the ruins and stooped to pick it up. He turned it over and sniffed it, then threw it
away in disgust. "This is bullshit, Joe," he said to his partner. "We will die if we do not get
something to eat."
"I know," said Joe. "Why don't we just go down
the road to the Burger
King?"
Sh'tstane slapped Joe across the face. "That is not the way
of the Foreign Legion! We will work for our food!"
"But...," began Joe.
"Shut up.
Just shut the fuck up."
Chapter 31
Sh'tstane and Joe lay in the alley and watched the man walk by. When the man had passed, Sh'tstane nodded to Joe
and leapt to his feet. As he ran towards the man, he removed the butter knife from his belt and leapt on the man's
back. He repeatedly stabbed the man in the head until the knife bent and finally broke. Weak with hunger, he fell
off the man's back and crashed to the pavement.
The man shook his head and turned towards Sh'tstane. When he saw
Sh'tstane, he grinned. "Sh'tstane? Is that you?"
Sh'tstane slowly got to his feet. "Yes," he said. "And
you are? Wait! I
remember! I haven't seen you in ten years!" Sh'stane waved Joe over."Joe, this is my most trusted friends
in the whole world!"
Joe removed the pistol from his holster and shot the man in the
head. "There's your fucking food," he said.
"Cool," said Sh'tstane.
Chapter 32
"Do you want some leg or a bit of arm?" asked Sh'tstane
as he slowly turned the spit over the red hot flames.
"Fuck you," said Joe. "I'm going to Burger King."
"Suit yourself," said Sh'tstane.
Page 8
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