“Give me some fucking head cheese and some shitty provolone.” She purred in a husky, sexy voice. “And slice that as thin as you fucking can you spasticated moron!”

I fell in love right then. She looked back at me and gave me the finger.

“What a real woman,” I thought. I ate my last Ju-Jube and decided right then and there, that I would marry this woman.

I was hungry.

I was horny.

I walked right up to her face with a grin, ear to ear.

“Wipe that Ju-Jube fucking smile off your face and tell me what you want,” she said with a beautiful smile.

“Marry me. Cook for me. Be my whore,” I said with a idiots look of glee.

“I married you in chapter two, you fucking moron.” Her voice caressed my ears.

Chapter One - The Journey Begins

I needed my red wagon to carry stuff. I couldn’t find it. I don’t know if I have a red wagon, so I left out the kitchen door. A breeze came in and blew the ashes around of...of...what’s her name?

Soon I was married.

After I finished eating something from that garbage can, I thought, “I have all this money from Chapter two...why don’t I buy some food for Bobbi-Jo.”

It was a grand wedding.

This one guy was there, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another...how many is that? Oh crap, I lost count.

Anyway aside from the guys there was a girl there too! And another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, and another one and another one, and another one, and another one, and I think that was all. Not counting me and what’s her name.

I went to the store to get food for Bobbi-Jo.

That’s where I met her.

The beauty queen, or dancing queen, or something like that. She’s some kind of queen of something. She got a crown, and got to wear a special dress, and got flowers and stuff. She says it because she has big breasts.

Actually, we were already married in the store. But that’s oldest time I can remember her. I mean, it seems like that’s when we met, cause I can’t remember much before
that, about meeting her I mean. But I guess we were already married when we met.

Me and the dancing queen.

Prologue - The Morning After

After the wedding she wanted to know just how much money I had. I showed her the money I got in Chapter two and she took me to some places to buy stuff. The next thing
I knew we had a bunch of stuff we needed, just like at home.

Home.

Where was home?

Where was papa?

Where was mamma?

Where was I?

Prologue - The Final Chapter, Part II

“How many monies is in there?” I asked.

"Oh I don’t know?” he said, looking into the bag. “Maybe two, three maybe, at the most. ”That’s good’” I said, “Have fun with them.”

It dawned on me that I needed a job to pass the time. Since I wasn’t always looking for papa, I needed something else to do. But first things first. Since I don’t know where I live, I needed to buy a house.

Which I did. In chapter Two.

As I was frolicking in the bathroom, Bobbi-Jo fell into the toilet. AS he scrambled to get out, a look of pure serenity crossed his face.

“Don’t worry little fellow,” I said. “I’ll get you out!” I tried with all my might to grab him around his mid-section, but he was too slippery from the water and he was squirming too much for me to get a proper hold. I went to the kitchen and got a pair of salad tongs. They didn’t work. Quickly thinking, I flushed the toilet so he would have a dry surface and be able to grab hold of the edge of the toilet.

I flushed. A look of terror came upon his face as he swirled round and round in the blue water, slowly sinking. I tried not to laugh, but he really looked funny goin’ round and round like that.

I burst out laughing and he disappeared along with the blue water.

I knew this would haunt me.

I knew he would haunt me.

I knew he would come back and kill me.

Maybe.

I ran out of the bathroom sobbing, then cooked a burrito in the microwave. I didn’t want to buy the new car on an empty stomach. I remember hearing mom say, “Never go to the store on an empty stomach you’ll end up buying the whole store.” I didn’t need a whole store, just one car. So a belly-full-o-vittles would do my body good

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