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| Alarmingly Strange Stories |
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My Bouncing Baby Girls |
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| . Ever since the summer of 1973, when my twin baby girls started to poke their tiny heads out my chest, I knew I was going to blessed with the best gift a girl could ever have. I eagerly spent my baby-sitting money on tube tops and halters to accent their exquisite budding beauty. I rubbed them daily with cocoa butter to keep them soft and supple and used rose petals to accent their delicate hue. I never confined them to any harsh spandex "cross your heart" prison or hid them under sweatshirts or flannels. As they grew, they took on a life of their own, often flirting outrageously with strangers, thus gaining a small cult following. They took bows, danced and did jumping jacks under my cheerleader's sweater. My twins opened lots of doors for me, both literally and figuratively. By the summer of 1976, they were almost at their full potential, disco dancing under the mirrored ball beneath my glittery tank tops and tight black T-shirts. They were much more outgoing than I ever was, often jumping out at strangers and screaming for attention. Not at all like me! They helped me get into hip places like Studio54 where I danced and drank for free all night long. My twin beauties rubbed elbows with celebrities like Warren Beaty and Mick Jaggar. Andy Warhol even did a bar napkin sketch of them holding a Campbell's soup can. For the next few years, they roller discoed to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, gambled in Atlantic City, did some print ads for "Billy Beer" and somehow managed to get me an audition with Aaron Spelling for "Charlie's Angels" Farrah Fawcett got the pretty girl role instead. My girls were disappointed that they were not the ones under that red swimsuit on the famous poster, but they bounced back in a big way. We flew out to Las Vegas in Larry Flint's private jet where we partied and my girls eagerly posed for the cameras. They were so photogenic and the magazine was a big bust out hit! After Hugh Heffner and Ron Jeremy, I became a showgirl where I got to wear glamorous costumes that really made my gifts stand out! We bounced in and out of shows in shows at Ceasar's Palace, jiggling on stage with big stars like Elvis Presley, Tom Jones and Wayne Newton. My girls always managed to overshadow the brightest stars and knock out audiences with their sweeping beauty. I consider my girls a great big gift. They have always been there for me, jumping at opportunities, keeping me afloat and standing up for me whenever I needed them. . |
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