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"What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm…taking a nut break?"
"Get the hell back to work!"
"Damn."
What was I to do?
The next day I thought I would try something a little more rash. I brought in a portable television set. When I
was ready for some relief at work, I decide to join my new circle of friends in the smoker's lounge, all who had
already taken several breaks during the day to puff on cigarettes while this was my first break.
I entered the smoker's lounge, portable television set in hand, and headed toward an empty chair in the room. Placing
the television set on the only small, rickety table in the room, I raised the television's antennas and began to
flip through channels.
"Hey guys, Days of Our Lives is on! How 'bout it? Wanna watch?"
The door flew open to the lounge and slammed against the back wall.
"Dammit! What the hell are you doing?"
"Um, taking a TV break, boss?"
"Get the hell back to work!"
"But…I don't smoke and I…."
"No kidding you don't smoke so what the hell are you doing not at work! Watch TV on your own time! What are
you thinking!"
As I left the smoker's lounge, head hung low and portable television set in hand, laughing accompanied my exit.
At least I had provided some entertainment for those who didn't have to work. If only I could find a tolerable
way to try and slowly kill myself like they were, I would be allowed to take a break too.
That was it! That's when I had the epiphany that what it took to get a break from work, whenever I wanted, however
long that I wanted, was to simply attempt to slowly kill myself! Who would have thought? I then realized that those
people in the smoker's lounge were true geniuses!
The next day, I came prepared. In my pocket was a hand-held stun gun that was capable of emitting a low-level electrical
charge. (I could never seriously hurt someone, even for self-defense, thus the low level) The morning had crept
by as slowly as it always had and, after the smokers had taken at least three, 10-20 minute long breaks before
lunch, while the rest of us continued to toil, I decided the time had come to take a break myself.
I left my desk and headed to the smoker's lounge. I was bound and determined to be able to take breaks if I had
to kill myself to do it. And, apparently, that is what I was going to have to do, literally.
In the lounge, I placed myself in the same chair I had the day before with the TV. I reached in my pocket and pulled
out my zapper, instantly followed by many comments.
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