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TheWeirdcrap.com

Submitted in 2005

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A Grim Affair
by
P.S. Gifford


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Name of Deceased. Jessica Christina Brown

Cause of death. Heart attack

Age 72

Date of death July 22nd 2004

Burial site. Waxbury Church Waxbury High Street. 11:00 AM

Archibald signed it , and left complete yet mundane instructions for the bodies transit to the final resting place as he always did attached it to the brass handles on the casket. This was the best coffin he carried; he chuckled to himself as he recalled her poor husband. The chap was so drowned in grief he would have signed anything!! People are so vulnerable and gullible at such times like that!!

He begins to examine Jessicas body. On her right wrist she wore perhaps the largest tennis bracelet Archie had ever seen. His eyes grew to a size that they looked as if they could burst from his piggy face at any moment as he sees n oversized diamond ring.

This was going to be his lucky day!

His excitement grew even more profound. As hanging solemnly from her ear lobes were the most exquisite earrings Archie had ever seen.

Jack pot! He gleamed to himself!!

As was his curious practice, he reached into the casket and lifted up the limp body. This was always the trickiest bit of the process, but experience had taught him to thoroughly examine the bodies, removal from the casket is always essential. Some of the greatest discoveries were often hidden discretely on the unfortunates person.

As he reached in the casket, he felt it shake; he was getting to old for this. The lid quivered back and forth as he raised Jessica abruptly from her last resting place. He maladroitly took her into his private quarters and laid her on his kitchen table and gleefully went about his task Glancing at the clock he realized he was going to have to hurry, it was already after nine and they would be there for the pick up by 10:00.

The bracelet was easily and promptly unclipped. The ring gave him more of a struggle; it took a few moments, and a little lard, to finally remove it. Now it was time for him to retrieve his prize the ear rings, but wait one was missing, it must have fallen off whilst he was removing the body. He sped back into his work area and peered into the coffin. Ah, there it was, it was right at the bottom. Reached over and into the casket, he tries to retrieve it he was not a tall man. It appeared to be stuck blast he was going to have to get into the bloody thing. He pulled himself up and in a few moments there he was on his hands and knees inside the encasement. The scene would have appeared comical, if it was not so pathetic. He clambered in, his awkward fat stubby fingers grasping for the jewel as he grasps hit, he excitedly jumps back, and hits his headThe vibrating jolt was sent shuddering throughout the casket. In a thump the cover closed. It was a sturdy coffin the best he had to offer. The weight of the lid met with the tenderness of the back of his head. Then there was silence.

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