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TheWeirdcrap.com

Submitted in 2005

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And Thanks for the Chicken
by
Derik Taylor


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"You think you're better than me. I hate you, move," he says and waits.

Smelling his armpit, he regrets not taking a shower or at least putting on some deodorant/anti-perspirant. Now he is too close to the door just to turn around and go back upstairs. A minute passes and it becomes crystal that no matter how much cooler he is then this cat she is not going to move. He gives in, slides the door sideways and steps over the napping pile of white, tan and black fur and into the Saturday afternoon where the sun is a ball of fire in the clear sky.

His eyes catch the hummingbird that had struck the glass moments earlier. It is on its side panting. He kneels down and stares at the little gray bird with its long, thin hummingbird beak for a moment. Sweat is forming on Ham's forehead making his hair cling to it and get in his eyes. He makes a grunting noise then runs his hand through it. With the sweat and grease the hair stays in place. He looks back at the sun and gives it an angry look. The bird stops panting. He stands, kicks it off the porch and walks to his car.

The nagging from his grandparents has become unbearable. So he promised them to try and find a job while they are in Florida. He hasn't done much the two years he has been living with them. Besides if he had a job he could pay them back for taking him in and start saving to buy a Spoon Sports carbon hood and roof spoiler for his white 1992 Honda Civic hatchback, but that might take a while.

When he is at the car door he looks around the neighborhood. The sound of a lawnmower can be heard. It putters and stops and someone yells to someone else about where their glass of ice water is. The sound of heavy breathing is approaching him from behind. He spins around to see Phil - an overweight Richard Simmons. Phil bounces by and waves at Ham who waves back.

He unlocks the car door and drops down into the red seat that has the word "Bride" on the headrest. The car was bought new and when it was about five years old Ham II started turning it into an ultra fast, high performance racing machine. Back then he usually took a few business trips to Asia each year. If he went to Japan he would buy parts and have them shipped back home: Spoon: wheels, calipers, dampers, pistons … Mugen: exhaust, clutch set, limited slip differential … and more. Sometime later he swapped the original engine with a Japanese Domestic Market (JDM) B16b engine. But these days you can just order parts online.

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For more, visit the Author's Web Site at: http://www.geocities.com/derik_taylor

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© 2005 by TheWeirdcrap.com
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