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Introduction by Kenneth Keller
It was a sad spring day in the forest. All the animals had gone away. The sky was full of mist and the air was
permeated with the now familiar scent of death. Hatred was breathing again in the village once more. The clouds
were gray and the tree trunks were stained with blood. New inhabitants now graced this land with singing dancing
and laughing. This things, all once common in the village, were slowly starting to return. But alas so had the
warrior.
Narration by Papa Smurf
I. The Day the Forest died
Many people who know of the legend of the Smurf massacre always get the facts distorted. Then they always wind
up coming to me and of course I have to set them straight so the legend doesn't get blured. On that faithful day
the morning had started off as any other. Yes I remember it well--smurf blood on my hands. Thousands of one inch
blue dwarfs begging me to help them. To make the pain and suffering stop. Always before they had come up to me
and I did what was needed to make the village calm. But on this day an evil like none ever existed before was created.
Forged from the nightmares of a demented scientist and as much as I wanted to help them I couldn't even try.
I recall the calmness that engulfed the village before the massacre. Brainy was his usual obnoxious smurf supervising
handy and clumsy while they were working on finishing lab that they promised to have ready for me the year before.
Farmer smurf was complaining about the lack of rainfall which was going to ruin this years crop of smurfberries.
If he only knew how much I hated smurfberries. Smurfberry jelly on toast, smurfberry butter on bagels, smurfberry
juice, smurfberry this, smurfberry that! Oh my, must contain myself. Wouldn't want my image tarnished. Anyway were
was I before that silly tantrum? Oh yes. Bluey smurf was his usual melon colony self insisting that today would
be the day that he broke out of his shell.
For endless years he had been claiming that. Day after smurfing day- ha ha ha he would never change. But I digress.
Greedy smurf was busy handing out the smurfberry cake that baker smurf prepared and of course the twit always had
to take the biggest piece for himself. Then there was vanity smurf or, as I like to call him now, Come out of the
Smurfing closet already smurf. " How does this look papa smurf? You know papa smurf you would look so much
better if you did something with your hair."
Damn them all. Why did they act like they are the most important creatures in the forest? At least I had two smurfs
that I liked. Sweet innocent baby smurf and of course Smurfette. Both were not natives of smurf village but I loved
them more then all of the other rodents combined. Baby was so cute with his naivete towards how the world really
was. The way he spit up smurfberry juice all over me was so precious. It always brought me to tears whenever that
cute little blue brat would dump the remains of his previous nights dinner onto my lap as I held him. That's me-good
ol papa smurf-he can always take things with a grain of salt. Always handles such acward moments with class and
dignity.
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