The Perfect Match
by Kate Alexandrova

Tanya loved meeting men. Fat, bold, tall, short, hairy and with a beard, pale and skinny, small and thin, men with big ears and small feet, men who were shy and childlike, men who smoked cuban cigars and drank martinis or ones who wore suits and settled for cheap beer and ones who were vegetarian and allergic to blue flavoring in cakes. Tanya loved men of any kind. That certainly did not make her a promiscuous type in any way but extremely selective and choosy about the type of male she wanted. Tanya had a very clear image of her perfect man and had come to terms with the fact that she could never settle for anyone who did not satisfy her very demanding criteria. She had to find her perfect type.

She would get dressed, apply her favorite perfume and go out on a quest to find her perfect match, hoping deep down that he would be the one. Always approaching the date with enthusiasm and liveliness, Tanya would devise a concrete plan of how she would handle a man on a first date, depending on the way he turned out to be. Sometimes when Tanya liked men, feeling attracted to them she would lift up her skirt and smile seductively until the male in focus drew closer to her, and she could feel him loosing his breath, his hands shaking slightly, he would reach out to touch her hand, wanting to feel her thigh and run his fingers under her blouse to get a sense of her very feminine physique. If there was a spark inside her, she would let it go, she would let him touch her and explore her body throughout, she loved the sensation of a touch, his mouth on her skin, sucking on her leg, licking and tasting her nipples. It was freedom, she felt the physical pleasure taking over her, even if she did not care for the man, she would just take off with him and rock back and forth until they both came in a wild unison of sensations that shook and shattered their bodies as they joined and separated.

There were many distant men and many first time meetings which did not leave anything behind, that is, until she met Morris Freiman. Morris was a fine man, he was a Frenchman and an established business man, he was as handsome as he was was successful, he spoke about things which Tanya had never heard of, of countries and places, of life and death. She was immediately drawn to him, she was deeply touched and fascinated by his elegance and dominating presence. She has only met this man once but she knew that it will not be until their second meeting, that she would know if he is the one for her.

The second rendezvous would take place at Morris's apartment, which was elegantly situated in the center of the city. Morris arranged dinner to be delivered from a French restaurant with bottles of fine champagne, ( love essential ingredient), he thought. Tanya was running late, she walked fast, her hills clicked loudly against the marble floor as she approached the elevator. She wore a short black dress made of stretchy elastic material which wrapped her body tightly, giving away her slender curves. Her long dark hair hang loosely over her pointy shoulders, her face looked pale and subtle her cheeks were powdered lightly, her lips were the color of rose. She carried herself with confidence as she glanced at their stare of men who floated in the lobby.

She strolled towards the apartment. Morris was already at the door.

"I am so glad you made it Tanya, I would have felt very lonely without you tonight".

"I am so happy to see you". She reached out and kissed him on a cheek.

"Would you like a drink?'

"Sure, I'll have a whiskey, straight over ice"

"Hmm.., whiskey, what an interesting choice. No fine champagne for a very fine lady like yourself?"

"No thank you, I don't like champagne."

"Wont be a moment". While Morris disappeared into the kitchen, Tanya reached into her handbag and pulled out a folder and a pen. She moved herself onto an armchair opposite Morris, that way, they would have a comfortable eye contact between each other.

Morris appeared with a drink and sat himself on an sofa opposite Tanya.

"Morris, I hope you don't mind if I ask you several questions about you?"

"No, of course not, unless you have some weird psych test in mind. I am scared of those, you know"., he said smiling.

"Well, it will be very much like an assessment, I will ask you questions and you will provide me with quick answers and I will record them on this answer sheet, See (she pulls out a multiple choice answer sheet which reads "Tanya Belinski assessment center).

Morris contemplates smiling for a second. "Hmm, are you serious?"

"Yes, very. I like you Morris but would like to get to know you better as a person and qualify you".

"Qualify me?"

"To see if you are my type"

Fine. Morris contemplated there for a second. He looked at her, she looked serious about this. Pity, he thought. This wasn't going to be another one of those easily forgettable one night stands. It was going to be hard work for him. Tanya was very beautiful, she was the modern age Audrey Hepburn, he would have loved a chance with her anyway. She had an incredible prettiness, her skin was soft and her porcelain features were sweet and childlike, and then her body, there was this fascinating body which screamed out the word 'sex', hot steamy passionate sex, she was tight and curvavious, she was a seductive siren with an innocent face. She was a night dream which left a man feeling like a destroyed warrior in the morning. "Ok, I am ready for your test"

"Well, sit down, this might take some of your time"

"The first question I am going to ask you will require a gut response, so remain honest and to the point at all times"

"Sure"

"Ok question one, on a first date with a beautiful woman would you expect a hug, a kiss or breakfast?"

"Breakfast"

"When you are having a coffee with a woman you think mostly, a) how beautiful she is, b) whether she likes you, c) having sex ?"

"Sex"

"Okay, when you are in love with someone, what is it you want for the future, marriage, love, sex, friendship, choose just one for now".

"Love, sex it's the same ballgame, who cares Tanya, do we really have to go through all these tests. Lets make love"

"No. You must complete the test first for me to even consider you"

Morris walks up to Tanya and starts kissing her face.

"Oooh, Morris you are so sweet, so sensual…,hmm, I like how you kiss me". "Yes like that, just like that, kiss me…". He runs his hand down her leg.

"Tanya, I want to make love to you. Can you let me make love to you and then you can finish your assessment".

"Alright, but before we make love, you must pass a psychical exam, its only going to take a couple of minutes."

"Oh, Tanya, I love physical exams. They can really turn me on"

"Take off all your clothes, but do it slowly. Nice and slow."

Morris takes off his shirt and tie. He stands there half naked baring his very toned chest.

"How are we doing so far?"

"I like it, so far."

Morris removes his belt and pants, he stands only in his underwear and socks.

"Take off your socks Morris, I need to see your feet".

Morris takes off his socks, he trips clumsily.

"Oh, I like what I see, l like your feet"

"Oh…, take of those underpants for me, I'd love to see it!" Tanya exclaims.

Morris reveals his frontage.

Tanya screams out with satisfaction, you have passed my test, I have never seen anything so HUGE!

Morris walks up to Tanya, who has already taken off her blouse.

He kisses her lips, her face, her breasts, he sucks on her nipples. He enters her slowly from behind and screws her like some kind of wild animal.

When he is done, he turns to Tanya and asks her if he passed the test.

"No, you have failed"

"Really? Is it so?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"You have the tiniest cock, I have ever seen, when you were inside me I could not feel you"

"But I have a huge dick, look at it Tanya"

"No, I think I had too much to drink. Tanya stares at his dick. You know, when I look at it from this angle it looks so massive, but when I look at it from behind it looks so tiny"

"Well, look here, see I have a cock extender" Morris pulls out a huge rubber cock revealing a small, thin penis.

"See its big, if I pull it off its small. With this on it its huge and without small, don't you like it? Its like the best toy"

"God, you are disgusting, you are the most disgusting man I have ever seen, you are the most filthy man I have ever done these tests with"

"Who cares about the tests, the sex was great"

"I care", screams out Tanya. She get dressed quickly. She takes the artificial rubber cock and throws out of the open window. "You are a sick man with a tiny cock, Morris" she yells out as the slams the front door.

She walks out unto the street and gets into her car. She unzips her bag and pulls out the rubber cock, she starts kissing it. "You are so beautiful, so nice, so quiet, you are never rude or angry -I think I can really love you".

She drives off, feeling in peace with herself for once. She knows that her wish came true, for what was once a diluted fantasy turned into a reality she couldn't get enough of. She has found her perfect match and it was right there in her handbag.