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Thumb stood as straight as he could; in doing so, he cocked the Fingers
into a fan formation which naturally irritated them somewhat. "As you may all know from the very beginning,
it was I, Thumb, who enabled the universe around us to be cluttered with many physical and material distractions,
which has helped our planet occupy its mind to full effect during its many multiple-parallel incarnations of the
same self. I am shocked that such bigotry could surface after so much that I have achieved in alliance with the
Fingers, but I suppose these days you lot can pretty much get along just fine without me. I have built you remote
controls, sensors, prosthetics and other such devices that obviously put my usefulness to question. I must, however,
propose one last testament to my invaluable use here at the Palministry."
All the Fingers curled into private council. Then, one by one, each Finger straightened.
"One last testament?" asked Index-Finger, craning its lanky form awkwardly in the direction of Thumb.
"That is correct," replied Thumb, giving a confident nod from his paunchy knuckle.
"Very well," sighed Ring-Finger, who was clearly unimpressed by Thumb's lack of willingness to be ostracised
and forever banished from their council.
Thumb scanned each Finger's print and then this is what he said: "I know that as a Thumb I am not often noticed
in the Palministry. Yes, it is true the cameras I helped build are used to take pictures of the Fingers and I find
myself not always in frame. It is also true that the Fingers get painted in finery and manicured regularly. But
I have seen something that will tower above all that. I have seen the most glorious idol of worship ever designed
to mirror the beauty of all Fingers. You will, of course, have to allow me to be your guide otherwise there is
a possibility you may be woefully butt-knuckled by the crimped maelstrom of excreta."
Each Finger wiggled a little bit, wondering what Thumb was planning by this way of diversion from his banishment.
Then as if by the power of will from some higher order with a lot of nerve, the whole Palministry was drawn towards
an almost barren surface, pock-marked with tiny potholes from which some had soft curly vegetation sprouting. Thumb
stretched his way across the supple surface as the other Fingers crept cowering in case of potential hostilities.
A small pink bud was discovered perched upon a raised pectoral peak and Thumb explained to the Fingers that this
was one of the special keys that would awaken the astounding statue, it was Index who had at many times used Thumb
to operate machinery such as Chopsticks, Pencils, and Cigarette Lighters, who was now required to assist Thumb
in squeezing this posy suction cap like cherry.
"Just squeeze and rub," whispered Thumb, and soon enough a nice even combination of squeeze and rub was
attained; enough for Thumb to feel that sufficient succulent sensations had clicked. It could only be described
in universal terms as knowing that a bus was coming to take you to a destination that you are anxious to reach
where so many delicious ticklish things would occur but if you happened to look in the wrong direction for an instant
and miss the bus, it would drive right on past and you might pee your pants.
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