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Just then a crazed gunman raced into the store and shot down both Sheldon
and Danielle with a sawed-off shotgun. He then murdered the owner of the bookstore and lit the place on fire. A
year later that man was convicted on three counts of first-degree murder and one count of arson, and a Wisconsin
judge sentenced him to three consecutive life sentences.
This actually has nothing to do whatsoever with the story I am about to tell, I just thought it was kind of interesting.
Well, I suppose it isn't that interesting, considering I made the whole thing up. I probably shouldn't have even
put it in at all. Oh well.
Part One: The First Part
Our real story begins about 15 years ago, and it begins with a man named Maynard Jones.
At the time, Maynard was walking back home to his small apartment, depressed. He was depressed because he had been
laid off. He had been laid off because the economy was in a crippling depression. Why was the economy depressed?
Well that's a long story but I'll tell it anyway.
About a month earlier a young lad happened to be waiting in the checkout line of a chain superstore called the
Uber-Mart. He noticed that in the store clerk's checkout area was a computer with it's log-in screen loaded. The
young lad, ever the mischievous one, typed "Uber-Mart Sucks!" into the login box. When the clerk returned
to his computer, he discovered the message and laughed. His boss, the store's manager, noticed the clerk's laughing
and walked over to the him, curious. The clerk showed the message to the manager, but the manager found nothing
amusing. Believing that the clerk had typed in the heretical message, the manager promptly fired him, and soon
a great verbal feud between clerk and manager erupted.
Meanwhile, the fact that the clerk and the manager were both not working caused a great slowdown in sales. Soon
very long lines developed, and the customers were angrier than a homeless man watching Lou Pearlman wolf down a
box full of donuts. One of the men in an extremely long line happened to be the man who owned the most stock in
Uber-Mart, and he was so upset that he immediately called up his broker and sold all of his stocks. Uber-Mart share
prices began to plunge, and it was all downhill from there. Within days the entire Uber-Mart corporation was bankrupt,
thousands lost their jobs, people lost faith in the stock market, and hundreds of other businesses began to go
under in a chain reaction. The unemployment rate shot up to 30%, and the entire economy went to hell. The young
lad who typed the message would later become a famous opera singer. The clerk would eventually murder four people.
But let's go back to Maynard. While Maynard was walking home, he was so absorbed in his depression that he did
not notice the young male Shi Tzu following him. When he finally noticed the dog, he tried to get him to go away,
but to no avail. The dog just kept following him, as if it wanted to live with Maynard. Finally, Maynard shrugged
and gave up. Oh well, so he would have a new dog to take care of. He could handle that.
When Maynard reached his apartment door, he noticed something even stranger. A sleeping baby, wrapped in a blanket,
was lying right there, with no parents in sight. There was only a note that read, "Please take good care of
this baby boy. His name is Fred." Maynard had always found "Fred" to be a stupid name. Nevertheless,
he took the baby in his arms and decided to take care of him. He could handle that. A few minutes later, there
was a knock at the door. A FedEx employee was there, and so was poor, sad-looking young blonde woman.
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