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Me: You make even less sense than I do when I talk. Does your father
also happen to have a birthmark on his shin that looks like a Fleer 1998 football card of Drew Bledsoe? We could
be related, though I doubt that you were concieved. I have this strange feeling that you just appeared like an
illusionist, some sort of mysterious entity.
Gheorghe: I am tired of loud noises come from your mouth. I shut you up real quick like baby sucking on bottle.
Then I burp you and call you a pretty little girl, and I put bows in your hair so boys pay attention to you.
Me: Jesus man are you just high on drugs or are you really so bad at English that I must now strangle you to death?
Gheorghe: You stop talk! Degrade me for bad speak all you want I just show you that I own a bad ass motherfuck
called me who likes to destroy American! How you think I have necklace made of skulls, I buy? I would snap neck
of human in second if they threaten homosexual attempts to me.
Me: Wait! No! I won't resort to this! Every time I do anything I end up fighting some sort of B-list star or somebody
who isn't in the wrong! I must stop my tyranny of madness. I refuse to fight you Muresan. I cannot become enraged
with every accent I hear. I have punched over 500 Scottish people in the last year alone, almost 800 Southerners.
I will stop my persecution and let you leave, alive.
Gheorghe: You talk like I know you man. I don't give shit. I fight a light if it hurt eyes. I kill rabbit if it
come into yard. I destroy person who talk to me without knowledge of movie I make. Maybe you stop being a baby
and we settle this like two dogs fighting for a large bone that have beer soaked onto top of it.
Me:....
Gheorghe: You hear me sassy pant? Are you too pussy you not even look at me? I taunt you because I sex your mother
other day at the mall in a Radio Shack. She says I make good role model for you and that I should marry her. I
now father to you. Go clean your room.
Once again, I lose it. Fuck that gangly-ass eccentric bastard for ever having the audacity to break up my family.
With nothing to live for I slowly strangled Muresan to death with my shoestring, choking the life out of him with
each tightening.
So yeah, jail, you know it's not as bad as I thought. I mean I get to eat bread, which I LOVE, every day and, get
this, I even get an hour a week outside. Hell, I've never seen so much as the reflection of the sun. Mom always
said the sun was a satellite for the aliens to control our minds with. All I gotta say is that ignorance is bliss
people I'm hooked! The sun rocks!
I dropped the soap yesterday and Dan picked it up for me. What the fuck is up with that you know? I expect anal
rape and all I get is a "here you go" and an awkward stare at my genitals. Where's the justice?
I'm sure to escape tonight. I promised the guard that I would set him free from the hellhole and that we could
run off to Guatemala together. He's paying so I might stay for a few days and then ditch him, breaking his heart
forever I'd say.
Well I gotta go do laundry duty. Biggs shit his pants when he got stabbed earlier and it's starting to stink up
the joint.
Tip ya 40's for me!
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