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That's right! As of 7:00 last night I was thrown into prison!
How?
Imagine that it's a breezy night. The smell of burning tires emanates through the air. People are having unprotected
sex in dorm hallways, and geese are migrating back to Iceland to build a missile with the capacity to end life
as we know it. I had to stop at a gas station to pick up a pack of smokes and possibly one of those hot dogs that's
always been there forever so I could stick it down my pants to impress the ladies. Get a boner with that puppy
in there and chicks totally think your packing twin guns.
While waiting in line I heard some commotion at the front about how the guy only wanted four lottery tickets instead
of five, like the guy tried to pull a fast one on him. Instantly I was confused. Never have I met anyone that is
concerned with their companies financial status unless they make commission or own the business. I had to interject
and question his sanity for the sake of the common man...
When I realized that I was dealing with one of the greatest basketball players to grace our time.
Gheorghe Muresan is a fucking literal god over 15 smaller countries and has starred in such major monster roles
such as that one movie with Billy Crystal! Hailing from Romania, he was a mammoth 7'8 and had no patience for weakness
or friends. And he...he was in a commercial possibly! You remember that movie with Billy Crystal and a giant don't
you? Muresan was that handsome behemoth! He could hold a Coke can and make it look like a really small Coke can!
I even named a shot after him in Junior High in which I would get parallel to the basket and throw the ball at
my teacher. That was such a kickass move.
Me: Think the clerk was trying to stiff you man?
Gheorghe: What the fuck? Like, i'm celebrity with movie and guy try to make money off me? I just want lotto tickets
and fuckhead try to screw!
Me: Really. So... you think that he...
Gheorghe: Just look at his ugly Amercian face with it's pimples and stars and stripes. I spit on counter to symbolize
hatred for you and you! I know Billy Crystal and go to see women take off clothes for dollar.
Me: Muresan, I've respected your skill on the court, but I must insist on drawing the line. Saliva is disgusting
and I can't stand it being there on that counter watching every move I make. I insist you clean it up before I
take your giant ass and throw it into a pit of fire.
Gheorghe: I like to see try little man. I am Muresan, destroyer of villages and small forest. I have crushed men
like small baboon with stupid lips and ugly feet. I even kill woman who refuse to sell me Butterfinger because
I never pay I just take and she yell. Never yell at the Muresan my friend. Never yell at the king of rock.
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