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Once upon a time, there lived a dolphin named Fred. He was a pretty jovial sort of fellow who spent most of his
days whistling Aerosmith songs while trying to knock the local surfers off their boards. Life was good.
One day when Fred woke up he noticed something was different. It seems he had mysteriously evolved overnight, and
had grown a pair of legs on his underbelly. After getting over the initial shock, he decided to show his friends
the new development.
Now dolphins have extremely sensitive dispositions, and after being laughed at by a large crowd of his fellow dolphins,
he swam away and decided to find new friends elsewhere. Swimming along next to the beach nearby, he decided to
see what all the fuss was about dry land. Using his newly developed limbs, he walked slowly, and a little unsteadily
at first, up the beach. He had seen people before and, as mentioned previously, enjoyed toying with the curious
creatures.
However, this didn?t prepare him for the reception the beach had in store for him. Half of the people were running
up the beach screaming at the top of their lungs, and everyone else just stared in shocked fascination. Fred decided
it was time to make some new friends.
He walked up to the nearest goggle-eyed human, (who just happened to be a hippie who had spent the entire day so
far with his face glued to his favourite home-made bong), and squeaked a verse from ?Love in an Elevator?. The
human (John) was a big Aerosmith fan, and joined in for the rest of the song. They spent the rest of the afternoon
laughing and singing, and John decided he liked his new friend and took him home to show his girlfriend.
Arriving at home, he wasn?t terribly surprised to find that she wasn?t in a particularly good mood. It seems she
had been rather shocked earlier that day to find that her sanitary pad was somehow stuck firmly to her genitals.
Anyway, they spent the next few days teaching Fred to whistle some Metallica songs and eating canned tuna. Fred
was thoroughly enjoying himself until somebody mentioned that dolphins were the second most intelligent species
on the planet. This angered Fred. Everyone knew that dolphins were more intelligent. They just enjoyed their lives
so much they didn?t feel any need to build cities or destroy things. Well until now, that is.
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