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He didn't come out for the next four years. Yes, little Cory sank to the bottom of the giant pit and amazingly
survived there for years. He was not the only one, however, for each year a countless number of kids get stuck
within ball pits like the one at Sleazy Bob's and never return. Cory survived by eating the dead bodies of some
of those kids. He also fed upon pizza grease, soda, candy, and insects that all managed to trickle their way down
to the bottom of the pit. They finally found him when police shut the place down. Sleazy Bob had been arrested
on drug charges, but that's irrelevant. Cory, who wore a collar and a tag around his neck like a dog, was returned
to his original mother (Vladimir's mother had long since passed on).
Naturally, little Cory was scarred for life. He ended up being a total sloth, doing nothing all day but gorging
himself on junk food and watching Family Ties reruns. He almost never spoke or socialized with others. His only
form of exercise was a strange and cruel one: riding the family dog like a horse (which later crippled the dog).
He got F's in every assignment of every class, including gym. Yet he kept getting shoved along from grade to grade,
for that is how the American public schools system works. By this point in time Cory was in the 8th grade. He weighed
225 lbs, smelled terrible, couldn't read, and had no friends other than Mr. Cuddles, an imaginary unicorn.
Cory may have had something of an excuse for being the waste that he was, but to Ms. Smith, he was merely the one,
demonic tub of lard that had ruined her life. And for this reason, when Jabba the Hutt turned over and grunted-presumably
meaning "go away" or something of the sort-Mary Ann, in a fit of rage, slammed the door and stormed down
to the cellar to retrieve her pistol.
Cory could sense the danger, but was too slow to grasp what was really going on. He consulted Mr. Cuddles, who
told him to run to his next-door-neighbor Buddy's house. Buddy's house was the only place Cory would willfully
venture outside the house. He went there because Buddy's house smelled better and always had plenty of Slim Jims.
Buddy was a rather classless, ignorant man, not exactly a redneck, but close. Whenever Cory would got to Buddy's
house, he would just barge in, without saying much, and then head straight for the food. It was quite odd that
Buddy put up with Cory, but in reality there was a reason he did so. It was because they both shared a common and
crippling trait: complete stupidity. The fact that neither of them could grasp the world around them bonded them
together in a strange way. The other, perhaps greater reason was because Buddy wanted to score with Cory's mom.
Mary Ann finally emerged from the cellar-loaded pistol in one hand, a box of bullets in the other-only to find
that her son gone. But she knew right away where he had waddled off too, because, as I mentioned previously, it
was the only outside-the-house place he ever went without having to be forced to go. Upon his arrival at the casa
de Buddy, an exhausted, panting Cory instructed Buddy to lock all the doors and windows, because "Sumthin'
bad goin' on!". Buddy obeyed, then went back to Cory to ask what was wrong.
Before Cory could let a word out, they heard a pounding at the door and the cry of "Open the door you fat
piece of crap!!"
"No mom! I hate you!" cried Cory.
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