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His mother went over to answer the door and as soon as she did that she
was shot dead with a 9mm. Little Larry ran over to see what had happened. To his horror, he recognized his father
standing in the doorway with the smoking gun. His father was a hideous, deranged criminal who had escaped from
prison recently. Half his face was burnt, his body covered with graphic tattoos of women being raped and tortured,
and on his left cheek was a swastika-shaped scar. His legal name was God. God let out a maniacal, evil laugh and
Larry hid under a chair as his father shot dead everyone at the party (did I mention there was a party?); Larry's
grandparents, his aunts, uncles, and cousins, his brothers, neighbors, and best friends. Oh yeah and his dog was
shot dead too. Then God lifted up the table, gave another maniacal laugh, and pointed the gun at Larry. He pulled
the trigger, but it was empty. As God searched his pockets for extra ammo, Larry ran into the basement. What a
fool, you can't escape from the basement. God ended up locking Little Larry in a closet that his paranoid mother
turned into an emergency bomb shelter. There was a 19-feet-deep hole in the ground for defecating, 200 bottles
of cheap wine, and 543 Twinkie packets. Larry lived in that bomb shelter for 4 months. His house had been foreclosed,
and it was when the demolition crew came (they would later successfully drill for oil on his mother's property),
they discovered him in his basement. During those 4 months Larry was cold, miserable, and suffering from cholera.
He also developed what would become a lifelong alcohol addiction. Yes, Larry dreamt of that entire period while
he was unconscious.
vol. VII
Eventually Larry woke up, and when he did he found himself lying on his
back inside a giant plastic bubble with about a dozen other injured people, and a couple of "doctors"
aiding them. The doctors were prisoners just like he, and some spoke English. Larry was in a makeshift full-body
cast made of some cardboard, shoelaces, and other random things. He couldn't move without the help of his personal
aid Hector. Hector told him that Dirk had pummeled a lot of other guys, and that other bubbles had been made into
hospitals. Remembering the greater trouble that plagued him, Larry asked where he was and why. Hector didn't know
very much, but he told him that they were on an alien spacecraft and the aliens that had captured them were intelligent
but only about 2 feet tall. Some prisoners said that all the humans were going to be used as lab rats. Others said
that they were going to act as slaves. One crazy guy said that we were being captured because human thumb bones
are necessary for the construction of a gigantic nuclear ray beam that would strike Atlas on the back of the head
and force him to let go of the Earth. Most found that explanation to be slightly farfetched.
Anyway they didn't have much time to talk about it, because one hours after Larry woke up the gates of their prison
woke up and the two foot tall aliens, carrying giant tasers, led them out of the ship and onto a planet that resembled
Earth in its atmospheric composition, but the weather was odd such to the point where the temperature in Fahrenheit
could vary such to the point where it would be agonizingly cold one minute and then hot as hell the next. The prisoners
couldn't stand it. But the weather was soon a secondary concern compared to what they saw next.
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