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Lunatic Ravings!
Well, it's Christmas yet again. It's that time of the year for us to get together with family and friends and exchange crap while pretending to care about those less fortunate who couldn't afford to give their Jeep driving teen a credit card and wonder why after a few months you're bankrupt and selling the wife to an underground white slavery unit in order to make the last payment on the Humvee because it doubles quite nicely as a place to live, thank you very much, and gives that special feeling of importance and status. Raise your glass of eggnog and cheer for the holidays! I care about the less fortunate and have the proof. Go ahead and visit Crackwhore Village and ask. After they receive my special gift of ointment, I can guarantee that they will all be sore free in a short time. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be spending my hard earned $ on a bunch of women wandering around with puss dripping sores. No sir, that's not they way I am. As usual, watch for the year round assholes that are nice around the holidays only because they'll fuck you as soon as 1/2/04 rolls around. If you happen to be one of those assholes, go fuck yourselves but still have a Merry Christmas. I'm sure there's a few of you that will be reading this on Christmas day and I ask you "WHY?" Did you not get the "Debbie Does Dallas" DVD gift set you had on your list? Maybe you were naughty? That's it, you were naughty weren't you!? You want a spanking now, right? You DESERVE a spanking, don't you? Ooooooh, you're so sexy when you're like that! Oh yes, you wouldn't believe what I'm doing right now. Yes, go ahead and bend over because I'm going to give you a And then she said to me, "That's not MY finger!" Would you believe that? After all that time and all that I had to go through, she tells me that! Incredible! Anyway, here's our annual top 10 movies of the year. The first list is mine, while the second is Bob's, along with his very own comments included here for the very first time. Stephen's Top 10 Movies of 2003: 10) - 9) - 8) - 7) - 6) - 5) - 4) - 3) - 2) - 1) "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines" (I only remember seeing 2 movies that came out in 2003. Those were "Shanghai Knights" and "Terminator 3". I saw only one movie in a movie theater and that was "Shanghai Knights".) Bob's Top 10 Movies of 2003 10) "Gigli"---Jennifer's got DA BOOTY 9) "Gigli"---It's a big BOOTY 8) "Gigli"---It's BOOTYLICIOUS 7) "Gigli"---Really, it's a JUICY FRUIT BOOTY 6) "Gigli"---Was that an eclipse? Nope, it's J Lo's BOOTY causing some serious blockage. 5) "Gigli"---Q: What's bigger than my head? A: Lopez' BOOTY! 4) "Gigli"---Want a handful of that BOOTY 3) "Gigli"---Hey, I just noticed that this movies sucks 2) "Gigli"---Why am I watching it yet again? 1) "Gigli"---Oh yeah, it's all because of her BOOTY! (He needs serious help. He actually paid full price 10 times to see that movie.) HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT. COMING NEXT: Top albums of 2003 Email Stephen! snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com
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