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Lunatic Ravings!
Here's a link to a wonderful coleslaw recipe courtesy of John C. which comes just in time for picnic season: http://www.sirenssilence.blogspot.com/ Go ahead and take a look. I'll wait right here. I guess Melissa B. has become somewhat of a embedded reporter for theweirdcrap. She's been around, filing reports on what's important to her and, to a lesser extent, us. The good news is that she has left Nebraska. This comes not a moment too soon since I was told that Melissa wears no underwear whatsoever. With Nebraskans keen, demonic sense of smell, this could have resulted in a tragic accident when Auntie Flo decided to visit Melissa. Thank goodness for small miracles. Now Melissa is hiding safely in a major US city. However, something bad must have happened in Nebraska since she's been going off on the French. She does not like the French people and I can't figure out why. I've heard through numerous sources that "French" fries and "French" toast no longer exist. This I've accepted since it's a well known fact that the Ethiopians invented fries (when they actually had potatoes and other food) and the Thugees invented the bread soaked in batter recipe thing. Melissa wants to add French kissing to list and asked wonderful me to come up with a alternate name. (Well, she didn't ask, I'm just taking it upon myself to do something nice for her. Did I mention that she doesn't wear any underwear?) French kissing was not invented by the French. I found this out from my good French friend named, oddly enough, Pierre. Pierre told me that there was no way in hell that that type of kissing came from the French because the French women are very hairy and smelly. He doesn't know of any French man that has kissed a woman this way because kissing would only prolong the time that they are close together when they would rather have the sex and leave. Again, this is all due to the smelly French women who are quite smelly, according to Pierre. Pierre also admits that he smells too because he's French and that's the French way. This I can attest to since I have occasionally been in the same vicinity as him and he does smell quite badly, but that's only because he's French. If you're French and are reading this, please don't get upset with me. Remember, Pierre is also French and he's just telling me like it is. So, what can we call French kissing now that we know that they didn't invent it? I've thought about it and haven't come up with any good ideas. I've come up with some bad ones though:
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