|
|
|
| This Week's |  |
| | | | | | | Add To Your Site! . |
|
| Commentaries: |  |
|
|
Lunatic Ravings!
When I receive an email from someone seeking guidance, I try to give them what I think is the best guidance possible. I try to do something good for the person, but sometimes what I think is good ends up bad. I thought I was gave some good advice to Melissa last week but found that I made a horrible mistake when I found out that she was actually going to turn to a life of crime and transport chickens across the Nebraska state line for the purpose of sexual gratification. Obviously, Melissa did not read between the lines. What may have sounded like something good to do is in reality something very, very bad. In no way would I advise someone to enter the state of Nebraska, but Melissa seems like a head strong woman and is now doomed. Because of this I am also doomed. When Melissa is caught (and she will be), she will tell them who gave her the idea. This will make me an accessory in her crime and I'll be sent to prison and forced to become someone's bitch. So, after much thought I decided I'm fucked and that I have nothing to lose. I am going to post a letter to Sadaam Hussein that I've been holding on to for a long time since I don't know how much postage costs to mail something to Iraq, plus I don't have an address for him. Since I'm fucked and heading to prison, I might as well do something to piss the government off so that they can come after me too. Hey Sadaam, I've watched you on tv and it seems to me that you have quite the sparkling personality. You're very eloquent when you speak and you're so macho when you fire a gun into the air! I can't describe what that does to me, but it sure does something. Really! Anyhoo, I've been wondering why you're not calling your next war "The Mother of All Wars Part 2". As you should know, everyone loves sequels because a lot of them are much better then the original. "The Empire Strikes Back", "The Road Warrior", "The Godfather II","Superman 2", "Dawn of the Dead", "T2", etc., etc. Sure, there have been some flops like "Titanic 2" and "Return to the Cider House Rules", but it's a chance that you have to make. To tell you the truth, you're not really holding my interest with your upcoming war. There's just no spark and sizzle as with the first one. It can all be blamed on your refusal to go with what was such a success in1991. I'm thinking of trade marking "The Mother of All Wars Part 2" so you need to reply to me ASAP. I'm just trying to help you have as much success (if not more) with "The Mother of All Wars Part 2" as you did with "The Mother of All Wars". You must also understand that the longer you wait, the less people will want to see your sequel. Time is of the essence so make sure you reply quickly. Sincerely, Stephen snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com P.S. I wasn't really being serious about that gun thing and what it does to me. I just figured with your sense of humor you would find it funny. P.P.S. If you didn't find it funny, sorry. P.P.P.S. I'm not really sorry. Gotcha! COMING NEXT: I learn how to act like a bitch. Email Stephen! snide_remarks@theweirdcrap.com
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
| | | | | | © 2002 by TheWeirdcrap.com - "Insanity has found a home." |
