Well, congratulations are in order for Bob since he is a proud new poppa of a
10 lb. baby girl!!
And congratulations are in order for me because I am the proud mother!!
What's this? Are you shocked?
It's time to break the silence! Bob and I have been in love for a very long time and have had sex even longer!!
But, what about my "alien baby", "Ralph", "jail', "topless dancing" and "douching"?
Well, all of those (except for the douching and dancing) are fiction!! I am a very normal and well adjusted person.
Sure, I'm an exotic dancer but since Bob doesn't work, I am the breadwinner and I make lots and lots of money.
Except for now, of course, since I gave birth to a baby. But who's complaining?
We named our baby Latunia since it's such a pretty name. Bob was crying when the baby finally shot out of me after
I gave that last hard push. I have never seen Bob cry and I knew right then that he was the perfect man to be the
father of my children.
So there you have it! I feel a bit guilty about making up all this stuff about my life the past few years, but
it was only done in good, clean fun.
This might be my last column since my little secret's out and you might not believe anything that I write in the
future. If that's the case, it's been great and I'll miss each and every one of you!!!
Sorry, but I have to go and take care of this severe vaginal itch that suddenly popped up. Take care!!!
See ya!!
NEXT WEEK: Is it really
the end?
Email Melissa!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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