Ask BobBy Bob Senitram |
||
| Sunday, March 13, 2006 THE OPRAH, DOUGLAS COUNTY CORRECTIONAL FIASCO Dear Bob, I sent this letter to Oprah and hope to be appearing on her show soon! But just in case I'm not invited to tell my fantastic story, I'm sending you a copy to publish so the WHOLE WORLD can hear it! Dear Oprah, I normally don't watch your show because I haven't figured out how to use my VCR or TIVO and unlike many viewers, I have a job. That morning was not unlike many others, the alarm went off at six a.m. and I sat up, still drunk from the night before. My thirst was insane, I couldn't stand it. I ran to the kitchen, however, I had run out of Kool Aid, I drank the next best thing...an ice cold beer. It was so gratifying, I decided to have another. One beer lead to another and before I knew it, I was too drunk to drive to work. I wiped the drool from my face and looked out the window and noticed something strange. All the cars that are normally gone were in the same spots as the previous night. Living close to the thriving Council Bluffs (IA) downtown district I'm used to seeing a great amount of big-city, bright light, hustle and bustle. Downtown is especially busy because they just added a 7-eleven to the strip which previously only had a bar and a cigarette shop. There's even talk about paving Broadway, the main street in town. Anyways, it's usually quite busy...but today...nothing! Not a single soul stirred. No life signs what-so-ever. I had to gather my senses and investigate. Yes, I would leave my apartment and venture outside for something other than work and bowling. I will be a one person away-team, as they say on Star Trek. But first a cigarette. And a beer. An hour later, I left the apartment and walked the strip, to see what was up. My mind raced, "Why was I the only one here? Is everyone dead? My pace picked up a bit, " Were they all taken by aliens? Was I the only one left?" Soon I was running, "Why was I spared? Are there other survivors?" I passed the bowling alley, running even faster. Then I stopped as the new rain started to pound my body. Soon I was soaked. The water and cold morning air were nothing compared to the chill I felt inside, "WHY, WHY ME!!!" I screamed, "WHY WAS I SPARED...HOW CAN I REBUILD THIS WORLD BY MYSELF!!!" I yelled as I fell to my knees, water splashing around. I looked to my right and noticed it wasn't raining at all, it was a sprinkler the whole time. Then, in the horizon, I saw a man. Actually, he was more across the street than in the horizon, but I saw him just the same. I ran to him yelling, "Where is everyone!!!! I grabbed him by the collar, "Tell me, tell me the truth you bastard...I CAN TAKE IT!!!!" The man looked at me with a tired look and said, "Probably asleep, it's Saturday. How come you don't have any clothes on?" COMING NEXT: The Revelation! |
|
