Song in my head:
"have you seen Mr. Brown?
Jesus Christ of Nazareth, comin' up from the ground..."
- Beastie Boys -
The Beastie Boy quote is the closest I can come up with. It's sung by a Jamaican guy and I can't understand the
words so good.
Two announcements! Starting today the face of the columns or "blogs" will change slightly. The change
will allow each of us to submit our blogs directly to our server with no editing. A big deal to us.
Second big announcement! After two years of legal deliberations, TheWeirdcrap.com has received a court order that
states Bel Garion is entitled to 10% of all financial transactions from 2001 to 2003! We're all very excited about
this since TheWeirdcrap.com has been running on negative profits since we started in 2000. I think this means that
Bel has to pay us 10% of the money we lost? We're not really sure, but we're sending him a bill.
2.51 version of the big announcement! We were also ordered to allow Bel to continue writing a column under the
freedom of speech thingy. His stuff will be up and running soon, so keep an eye out!
READER MAIL!!!
"jGallagher" writes:
How old r u bob
Dear Sir or Madam?
That's it, not even a question mark. (Don't you just love the instant messaging!)
I don't like to reveal too much personal information, which is a little different for the "blog" generation,
but it's just something you'll have to get used too. But just this once. I was born in Cuba, on 01/23/03 (in the
year of our lord, nineteen hundred and three).
That makes me 102; however, I'm a health nut so a lot of folks say I look like I'm in my nineties. Plus, I was
been bitten by the dark side when I was around 30, and that really slows down the aging process.
"Katie" writes:
So how come bel doesn't write anymore?
Dear Katie:
See above.
It's Easter this weekend! This is the day Jesus pops out of the grave and gives us candy! Ever wonder that if you
have eternal life, and you die, then get back up, it's like a kid who refuses to go to bed? I'm quite sure that's
what happened in heaven, and I have proof!
So, Jesus is in heaven, and God says something like, "Ok, that's enough out you young man! Stay dead!"
And Jesus says, "I'm thirsty, there's nothing to drink in heaven ‘cause we ain't got no bodies, I
got to get back in my body to get a drink."
"Ok," says God, "But no preachin'!"
"Who me?"
"I mean it!!!" says God, "Get a drink and come right back to heaven! NO TRICKS!!!"
My proof: Omitted from the King James version is this short verse after Jesus got up:
And sayeth the Lord with his arms open wide, "...And look who I see while I get a pail of water? Mary!!! don't
you weep, and give JC a big hug!"
TOP 10 REASONS WHY I THINK JESUS WAS A HIPPY!!!
10 Wore Birkenstocks
9 Loved to fish
8 Used the words love and peace every other sentence
7 30 years old and his legal place of residence was still "Mom's."
6 Loved camping
5 Called everyone "brotha'."
4 Loved to spilled the wine
3 After 2000 years, he became a "Superstar" and was cool with it.
2 Two words: long, hair.
1 And the number one reason why I think Jesus was a hippie: His likeness is still on the cover of Zig-Zag "cigarette"
papers.
AND NOW YOU KNOW!
COMING NEXT:
My God you may be from Texas!